I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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