I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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