I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
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