Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
its liver damage thursday
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize