i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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