Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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