A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
