No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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