dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
