maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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