you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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