Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize