that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
