If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
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