i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
