Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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