i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
