YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
