Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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