When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
