guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
