Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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