My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
