HIV tests are more positive than that guy
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
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Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
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