he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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