every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Randomize
