the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
