Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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