Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
