After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
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