I'm going to rape someone's good day.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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