can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
