I'm going to jail i love you
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize