you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Randomize
