I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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