dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
