He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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