Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
