operation harelip BJ is a go
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
