So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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