Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
