Define "chronic" masturbator.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
