Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
No subtext here. People are naked.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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