I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
