okay pat passed out under dana's car
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize