You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
