i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
