you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Randomize
