kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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