legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
worst night to have a conscience
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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