I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
