Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I touched a dick in church today
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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