good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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