The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
