Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
