She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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